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“Are they normal? Are they one of the many faces that love takes or are they always pathological and an indicator that something serious and important is threatening or jeopardizing the couple?”

“Except for sporadic episodes, which are sometimes picturesque and give a certain spark to the relationship, the rest ends up being destructive for it and only contributes to nothing progressing. And even more so when the couple’s unconscious contract is based on nothing changing between them, that’s when the situation worsens.”

In this article we will see for now only one of the possible problems:

For example, when a relationship is fundamentally based on need, – on the generally basic needs of one of the parties who wants the other to solve them permanently, that other is being assigned power and control. This leaves the person in need in a dangerous relationship that creates vulnerability and dependency on their partner and on life. This is how a child-parent bond tends to reproduce between them. An eternal father or mother for an eternal son or daughter. An inequality is being generated between the two and a favorable ground for discussion and fight in the event that one member of the couple insists on controlling and manipulating the other. He will seek to keep the other in dependence and keep himself in that apparent and reassuring power. An illusory power that only hinders true power, which used with balance allows progress and overcome the difficulties that arise in the life of every couple.

Hence the importance of learning to minimize the needs and expectations projected on the other person, develop companionship, commitment, collaboration with the other and be more self-sufficient.

This way we will also improve our ability to love and live with others.Problems do not become so big if effective and timely solutions are sought.

Interested in improving your relationship? Read here about our TALK THE COUPLE.